Women, and even some men, believe that the vagina can close shut. Truth is the muscles at the vaginal opening are not strong enough to completely reject vaginal access. The muscles may clench tight enough to prevent consensual penetration but won’t prevent a forceful one.
Women with vaginismus – an anxiety-based condition whereby vaginal penetration is difficult or impossible – will typically describe a feeling of a vaginal block or sealed shut, and attempted penetration Will often feel like ‘hitting a wall.’ The partner may also express same when attempting vaginal intercourse. This experience is real, even though the vagina is not hermetically closed.
Furthermore, because the vagina is an invisible body part, unlike the penis that is totally visible, such feeling of closure will be accompanied by a worry that something is wrong anatomically, or that something is physically abnormal in the genitals.
Fact: the issue is not a mechanical closure of the vagina but rather a vaginal clenching reaction to fear or worry or a memory of a past negative experience associated with vaginal penetration. It is a panic reaction in the vagina, as if it says NO ENTRY even if the woman wants to allow penetration (we all agree that panic has no logic, right?)
What Is Vaginal Control?
The vagina is a tube that connects the uterus to the outside of the female genitals.
Menstrual blood flows down from the uterus (womb) through the cervix (opening of the uterus) and down the vaginal canal to exit.
A penis during intercourse will typically occupy the entire length and volume of the vagina as it is built to do.
Other functions of the vagina include housing a menstrual aide (tampon, cup, disk), a speculum during gynecologic examination, a finger, a vaginal applicator for inserting medication or lubrication, medical devices, etc. The vagina is also the passageway for a baby to slide out of the uterus and enter the external world.
Healthy vaginal control means owning your body, understanding the anatomy and function of the genitals, having experienced vaginal insertions (even a finger or a tampon), and trusting the vagina to do what it was built for. Healthy vaginal control allows the woman to choose when penetration occurs, and for how long while fully trusting the activity knowing full well that she can always say STOP if needed.
How Vaginismus Can Make the Vagina Feel Closed
In vaginismus, the anxiety owns the vagina and causes it to clench, tighten, and reject entry upon trying or even beforehand upon thinking about it. The vaginismus vagina is nervous, fearful, worried, and totally separate from the woman’s logical mind.
Vaginismus makes the vagina feel closed because of the instantaneous and involuntary clenching upon the thought of insertion or attempted penetration. The clenching will feel very tight and very strong, and typically associated also with body guarding, legs closing, and generalized anxiety, all in anticipation of a catastrophe should vaginal penetration occur.
Recovery Means Reclaiming Control
Overcoming vaginismus means gaining all vaginal functions – finger, menstrual inserts, vaginal applicator, speculum for pelvic exam, intercourse or penis-size dildo – while diffusing the disruptive anxiety that prevents the woman from owning her vagina and her pain-free vaginal use. These can be achieved through
- Education about the genitals
- Understanding the psychosomatic characteristics of vaginismus
- Experiencing progressive vaginal usage using dilators
- Building self confidence
- Replacing fear and anxiety with knowledge and learned experience
CONCLUSION
Filling that the vagina is totally shot closed is a typical complaint of women with vaginismus. It has to do with the instantaneous and involuntary clenching of the muscles in the opening of the vagina in anticipation of pain upon penetration.
While the vagina is not literally shut closed, the experience can still feel very real to the woman, and to her partner who is trying to penetrate. This reactive phenomenon will make any vaginal penetration difficult or altogether impossible.
To gain vaginal control, vaginismus must be resolved. To overcome vaginismus, a psychosomatic process of gaining vaginal functions while diffusing the disruptive anxiety is a the winning formula.
Vaginal control is connected to confidence, consent, trust, and understanding. A woman should not live with vaginismus and a fearful clenched vagina. There is a cure!
Frequently Asked Questions
Can a woman completely close her vagina?
Not really. She can clench it tight enough to feel completely closed but never hermetically.
Why does my vagina feel sealed shut?
The vagina feels sealed shut because your body is triggering a protective reaction in fear or worry about penetration and pain.
Why does it feel like I hit a wall during attempted penetration?
The feeling of hitting a wall when attempting to penetrate is how the tightly clenched muscles at the vaginal opening feel.
Can anxiety make penetration impossible?
Yes, anxiety can most definitely make vaginal penetration impossible because of the ‘bracing for impact’ squeezing of the muscle at the entrance to the vagina. This is what the condition of vaginismus is about.
Is my vagina too small for intercourse?
The vagina is usually of the right size to have sexual intercourse, but when it is tight because of vaginismus, it may feel like nothing can ever got inside it.
Can someone with vaginismus use tampons?
Yes, women with vaginismus can have some vaginal penetrations, including a tampon but will still struggle with the rest of the vaginal functions.
How do dilators help vaginismus?
Vaginal dilators help with training the vagina and the anxious mind to accept penetration through a progressive, gradual introduction of thicker and thicker dilators all the way to match the thickness of an erect penis.
Can vaginismus suddenly develop even if intercourse was previously possible?
Absolutely. Vaginismus is curable when the right intervention is available. Watch this video.
If your vagina feels closed, blocked, or impossible to penetrate, help is available. Contact Us to schedule an in-person or a virtual consultation.
